Newspapers / The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, … / July 21, 1882, edition 1 / Page 1
Part of The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
- P ' J 1 .S 'f: ' W"" jf ' ' " ' ' ATkllTISI3f RATES" , TvSi j ' J I H i ' j jiir I' - II t B' - iPl " I I H K i I I - c l Obitaaries ani Tribntei of reaped - i ' (2 -"' iV M'M' ' ' 4 W V W ft A. aritd far ,ta-irerUsinx rates. - rr.it f sirBsntMPTiojr. One Tear .... Six Months.;.-. $2 CO ......a oo Special Requests. 1. I writing on business be sure to give the Pesloffice at wbioh yon get your mail mutter. . - - ; . 2. In remitting mousy, alwaya give both name and Po -toflice. 3. Sen-l matter for the mail department-' on a wp arale j iece of piper from anj thing for pabliestion. i t 4 -Wiifce coni!aan:oai!ons onl oa one sule of the j-beet. No coisrannioatioas will be published on less accoitr?nied br the fail n.m aad ads drees of t ie wiiter. These are not reqiested for publication, bat as a guarantee of goad -faith.- ESTABLISHED MS. A Family Newspaper; Dtvotfi-i . to Horns Interests and flneral Siws TESIS-$2.(H) rerAannm. AH comrmm'ea tions for the caper, and business letters, theuli be addre&ed to J THE BANNER. i RatherfardJon,. K. C , . r ; v ' . - - . ' . - H h ' . : r - ;r j . . . , .... . . " 1 r ' 1 1 " ' '; ; I - ' . . . - h-'i - . .i : ' ! ; PUBLISHED AT RUTHERFORDTON, N. 0., EVERY FRIDAY MORNING. 11 SIARJORIE 6 BAY. BY ASA X. X. 1VCT1SOI.S. E'ythe in the sun of a summer's day Trippd Kte old-fashioned Marjorie Gry, tlaiden quaint of a long post day Marjorie Gray I . ' Load sang the robin on branch and (pray, Madly and gladly and long sang they, - Carolled to Marjorie on bar way Loud sang they I - Sweet was the roses' breath In Cue air, . Clear flo-wed the brook through the gardens fair, White lay the road in the mux's bright glare Warm the glare ! Eut maid Marjorie, waiting there, ' Had not for heai nor duet a care, Knew not she and the roses rare . Were se fair ; Saw not the lithe and graceful hound Runningto meet her with graceful bound, leaping and springing. jrer th ground ' Frienaly hound I Farther away, -with gaze prof onnd. And ginish forehead slightly frowned, Iter eager eyes their object found ! Gladly found I ' Sao was a little belle from the town, Dainty in manner and face and gown ; He was a poet of no renown, Far from town; ' J . Yet the haughty eyes so brown, Under the poet's smile or frown, Oancd with joy, or, shy, looked down, Soft and brown. i Fad that one could cot leaver them so, Maiden end poet of long ago, Meeting with joy by the old hede-row : i Long ego. -. But tiine's departure, steady and slow, With years of roses and years of snow, Has wrapped the park in chill and glow Boses and snow. Marjorie married the son of a peer; . ilarjorie's life was short and drear; Forgotten the, for iany a year, . In chnrch-yard drear While to the poet's record dear ' Came sweet fame and a long career, Fortune, and love, and all things dear Bx-ssed career ! , Blithe wis that summer passed away; Happy the little maid, they say; Tender the poet that sunny day Passed away. j Flown are the "bird 5 from tree and spray ; Dust is sweet Kttje Marjorie Gray ; Dealh-'ess the lie" v ts lay Welia.'.ay ! 'Av. : V -Earjer Xaqazine. L O VE'S strata gem. It was a little village called Blunder not in Fairy-land but in Maine land .ijasi out of the shadow of the solemn for . ests, and where if could see and flash back the smile of the restless, dancing, moaning sea; and .perhaps that was the reason that it was such a busy little villas e. for. although It had only one street and a church and a j choollicuse (oh ! an4 u blacksmith fhop), it was the most uneasy little place Imaginable and so conceited. , In the middle house of the right-hand row lived the musician of the place a little wrinkled old man, with a wooden leg, ratty hair and a hooked nose, and a face that was always wrinkling up, as if t wero making a . net to catch ideas. ;Ihey called him the professor," and the Equire's daughter and the doctor's daughter and the lawyer's wife, and the 4wo rich old maids that are to be found in every village, and six of the minister's "ohve branches," took lessons of hirn. And on summer evenings, when he used to sit playing Herr "Worstanadrruri'a adagio movement, in G double-sharp minor, all the village used to . gather round his house, and say, softly, one to another: ' What a great man is the professor, and what a wise and enlightened and coble and art-loving people are we Bluu dernarians ! ' He. was a very absent man : this pro Sessor ;-for Lis brain w&3 so full of crotchets and quavers that he couldn't. tell a cup of coffee from a sheet of mu- " eic, and wore his wooden leg upside down naif the time ; and whenever his daughter Martha (who was a sort of Maine fairy, and kept his house in order, and his queer old ideas straightened out) would say, " Father, the squire's daugh ter, or the doctor's daughter, is waiting for you," off went the professor like a shot his faded dressing-gown stream ing in the wind, his ratty locks uncov ered, and his sound foot, without" shoe or stocking, hopping through the streets like mad: and then all the Biunder nariaEs, would raise their hands and say once more, one to another : ' "Oh, -what a great man is the pro fessor I" But, J after a while, there found his way to ' the village a young man, with dark, thoughtful eyes, and long, curling lhair, who unpacked his trunks an set up a tinge sign, announcing that he was a professor also.. And all the neighbors, as they went by, used to sniff at it and Bay : "I guess he can't play Herr Worst anadram's pieces !" . And there was a greater crowd round the old professor's i. 1 1 uouse man ever. The young man, however, didn't seem to take it much to heart but one even, ing, when his neighbor had finished the adagio movement in G double-sharp minor, he sat down to his piano ; and all the Blundernarians laughed for the first few notes were not a bit like Herr i Worstanadrum's, " . : , He heard the laugh, but he played on; and, presently, there came through the window sounds like the rustling of pines and the murmur of water, and the songs of birds, aod shouts of children, and tinkling of bells ; and all the Blun ernarianjB -who didjj't carry, handker chiefs fell to wiping their eyes on their aprons and jacket-sleeves ; and bang I went the window of the professor, who had been listening. And all that night he sulked in his easy-chair, and wouldn't speak a word to his daughter Martha when she urged him to go to bed. After that, the equire's daughter found ut what handsome eyes the( young proIessQr had, and told the doc tor's daughter ; and then all the Blun dernarians discovered that the old pro fessor was out of date, and shabby, and crusty, and queer, and a goose instead of awaa ; and in a little while his pu pils had all dropped off. And the crowd w.-(woBird -fcro ywtijg- taan'd window, who had always something new to play; and the old man sat scowling in his easv-chair, or played Herr "Worstana- drom with the loud pedal, and half suf-. j focated Martha and himself, because he wouldn't have the windows opened. Poor little Martha went around with her blue eyes swimming in tevars, and her rosy lips quivering all the time; and whenever she passed the young man's window she used to . dart such savag& glances at it as, if they had been pistol bails, would certainly have made an end of him as he always happened to bo there when sho went by. So matters went on, till one evening, when Martha was almost as sulky as her father because that day she had lost one of her two handkerchiefs in her indignation at the prof essor's presuming to bow to her, the door opened, and the dark-eyed stranger came quietly in, hold ing her handkerchiefs as a flag of truce. Martha reddened, and her father was so tart and crustj that she was fright .ened ; but the young man woidd not go till he-liad heard Ht -r Nvorstanadrum's adagio whereupon i he oid professor, who was flushed and wigty, played it terribly out of time, m (e false notes, and at last got his poor old hands so en tangled that he gave a terrible bang and came away4 vowing thatj the piano as entirely out of tune. . There w;is quite a silence, and then the stranger rose to go ; but the surly old man fancied that ho was frightened at Herr Worstanadrum. aud would not hear of his stirring, till he played like wise. ' With A clocf rJgK, tlo yowngf - mem seated himself at the instrument. The professor wrinkled his face, took off his . spectacles and cocked his ear critically, while Martha turned her back to bide her tears till, hearing a great sniff behind her, she saw that her father was weeping, and making the most-terrible grimaces to hide it. When he had finished, the old pro fessor got up, and shut the piano with out a word ; and Martha, flushed and trembling, went with the stranger to the door for she knew from her father's look that he was saying to himserf that he would never play ttgain. On the door-step she thought to look at the handkerchief ; but it was finer tban'any she had ever owned and beau tifully embroidered. "Take it," she said, handing it back. " This L not mine." " "1 know it, answered the young man-, "butI kept yours purposely. Gold would not buy it of me." And, with a grave bow, be went away. " What was that young jackanapes say ing to you?" asked her father, when she came back. Martha, who did not know how to de ceive, told him every word. "Oh, lib !" growled the old man, "I'll have him there. If he has stolen away my pupils, he shan't have my daughter. The next time he comes, you're not to let hini in do you hear, Martha?" 'Yes, sir," answered Martha. And, letting fall a pile of plates, "broke half of them, tore her only gown in trjing to save them, burned her fingers when-sho lighted her father's "pipe, " got well scolded and went crying to bsd. After that, every morning was laid oh the door-steps a brace of birds, a basket of fruit, or some fine fisb, always for the professor, who began to fancy that some of bis old friends had at last remera bered him, and chuckled mightily over them to Martha, who blushed red as a rose, but never said a word. One morning, however, the old man who was as curious as a wonfan took it in his head to find out whether it rained fish, birds and fruit, or whether he had still a friend in Blunder; and, posting himself behind the curtains, watched the door-steps as -a cat would a mouse, till, to his horror, he descried the dark eyed young professor in the very act of depositing a superb haunch of venison. "You seoundrjell you villain I you coward!" shrieked the old man in a fury, throwing open the window; "you wretch 1 you poisoner ! you pettifogger I you huckster ! you mummy I you ' Here, as lie could think of nothing else, he threw "his wooden leg at him. The young mtn picked it up, and po litely handed it to Martha, who came running to the window, as by this time did also half of the Blundernarians who, being. only half awake, and hardly dressed at all, decided that the young professor had been trying to poison tho old one ; thai he was discovered in the act of trying to elope with Martha ; that the house was on fire ; that the old pro fessor was crazy;' that he was di?ink, tfnd a variety of equally consistent and sensi ble opinions. But the truth of the mat ter leaking out (as it always will, little oaes, ao matter how deep tliey bury it), the Blundernarians exclaimed, with one voice, that the old professor was an idiot and an ass, and, as idiots and asses have no right to live, unanimously resolved to starve him out, by depriving Martha of the little work by which she had been able to support tier father -and herself. Only the minister's wife couldn't be made to see that she ought to starve a fellqw creature because he was poor nnd cross, and between her and the dark eyed stranger, who used to smuggle hi3 contributions ncjw into the kitchen, they managed to struggle on for a few months longer. At last, one day, Martha found the dark-eyed stranger "himself in the kit chen, and wa going to blush and scream, but concluded to cry, when he told her that ho was going away. "I have ruined your father,"" he said, sorrowfully, " and he won't let me repay him ; so yoir see I must go." "It will do no good," answered Mar tha. "Some one else will come. You havo taught other, people too much. They will never come back to Herr Worsjtanadrum. " "But there is another reason," he said. "I am-very unhappy. I love a little blue-eyed girl, who is my next-door neighbor, but her father hates me, and I don't think she would marry me with out, his consent do you?" And he looked straight into Martha'3 eye3, as if she knew anything about it. " I don't think she would," answered Martha, "if she ia a good girl." " She is very 6od," he said, pos: tively ; "so you see thjre is no hope for ma and' I must go.' ' - On which lavtha whispered some thing in hi3 jear to which ho said : "Do you think "so?" to which she an swered : "I know so!" on which ho said : " I'll trjr " and went away. That evenhjg the professor was quite alone, and the j door was open. lie was wondering what kept Martha so long, and grugabling terribly as he smoked his pipe, when iu oanio the dark-eyed stranger. " I came toptake my peace with you,'' he said, mournfully. "I am going away." . j .. ; "Take a seat, sir," said the professor, growing civil at once. ' "I am going." he repeated, seating himself close to the oid man, " for two reasons. The first ,-is, that I love your .daughter Martha, -and am sure you won't let me have her; but the principal one is Herr "Vr'orstanadrum." "Herr Worstanadrum !" repeated tho old man, opening his eyes very wide. "Yes, I am' tormented by the recol lection of your superior excellence. My style of playhjtg pleases ; it is popular. Why ? Because the vulgar can under stand and appreciate it just like the children like the primer better than Cicero's orations. Yours is the true school the only fountain of excellence. But it is only great minds like yours that can comprehend the meaning of such wondrous melodies like those of Herr Woretanadrum; but to play them ah! that is reserved for you. I have, tried, and failed" " Beally 1" interrupted the old man, hugely delighted. ;T " les, really. I am continually try ing to recall it, but in vain. It haunts me ; it craze$ me ; and since I cannot bear the torture, I fly " But the professor was already at the long-closed piano. "You shall not go away, my poor boy. I will jplay it for you every day, and perhaps -ou might learn it by do- r i - tt . 1 li I grees. it is mot your iaiui, you Know, if you did faili" " Impossible," returned the young man, sadly. " Ion are only too good ; but I cannot May " "Not if I will give you Martha?". urged the o&t man as eager to keep him as he hjad ever been fo drive him away. V f " That might alter the ease," ho said, hesitatingly. " But would you play the adagio e-iery 'day ? " r "I will if. you like." And he did. And the young professor, with his arm around the waist of his blue-eyed wife, smiles as the old man crashes away at 'Herr Worstanadrum," sayingpityingly : "Poor fellbw I ha can never play it."; Reader, iti is not probable that there are any such; cross-grained, quaint, crot chical, .fog-brained old curmudgeons nowadays ; but if ever you should chance to stumble on any, find otk. their partic ular " Herr Worstanadrum," and go and do likewise. $he Swiss Way. in the Canton of Geneva, Switzerland, every country school-master is required to know something of agriculture and natural history, to the end. that he may instruct his j pupils therein. Every vil-Iflo-A has its niffht school, in which lads j and ybungnen who have attended the ; communal school the required term ! until the completion of their thirteenth ; yeai may Obtain further instruction in i matters relatiug to their calling ; and i during the winter, lectures are given in the illage 'school-rooms sometimes in the village' churches by professors ' from the University, on agricultural i chemistry and kindred subjects. FUN AHEAD. An. Improved Congreasfonal Record, li Congress resolve to act -upon the suggestion made by Senator Mill the Congressional Record "be' a weeiuy and sent to every tanuiy in the country, some modification ought to be made of the contents rof jtbe Record, The paper is mucli too heavy and dismal in its present condition to be welcomed in the ordinary American household. Perhaps it might havea . puzzle depart ment, and if so one of fthe first puzzles could take' the shape of ; an inquiry how it happens that so many Congressmen get rich on $5,000 j a yar.; Ths department of Answers to;? Corres pondents could be enriched with refer ences to letters from office-seekers, and the department of Household Economy could contain explanations of; how the members frank their shirts homje through the postoffice so as to get them' in the family wash. As for the.generaltcontents, describing the business proceeding of the Senate and House,- we recommend that these should be put intof the form of verse. We shoukx treat them, say, something in this fashion : f 4 Mr. Hill . Introduced,' blU To give John Smith .pension. :. .Mr. Bayard. Talked himeoJf "ttred,T f Eut said nothing weftbyof mention. This would be succinct, musical and in a degree impressive, i The youngest readers could grasp the meaning of it and it could easily bo committed, to merrrory. Or a scerfo- bl te SScis might be depicted hi such . K rms ts these : A very able speech wss - v t.Coj; of Minnesota Respecting ' lie necess;,-' voter. jirotocting the black 'Twas indignantly responded to by Snjitb of -Ala- bania, v t . Whcfe abominable talk was silenced by tbo Speak er's hanmiev ',-.-? ;, Then Atkinson of Kansas tokc te iuakotan explana tion, . ' ' But was pulled down by a colleague in a state of in dignation. . . V And Mr. Alexander, n a-fpeech about insurance, Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty 'nearly past endurance. j ' ,: , t After which Judge Whltaker denounced the recip-' rocity , Treaty with Hawaii as a ecandajons monstrosity. It would be advisable of course to vary the meter as much as 'possible, in order to prevent the monotony whijsh would otherwise dull the interest of the reader. After giving the proceedings in the House as above, something. c a more spirited nature perhaps could be insert ed into the- 'Senate reports. Suppose, for example, the pages devoted to the Senate should lead off ; with something of this kind: - ' I' Then np rose Smith, cf Florida, the be-tt of the de baters, ' ,j i.; ft And spoke aboutils measure for protecting alligat- . nra : He showed how tourists shoots at them i" without re gard for reason, - vj : . 1 s.' And asked to have it made a crime to (ill them out of season. ' 5 Then Brown he moved amendment by. inserting a . brief clause - y r Corrpe ling alligators not tooperate their jaws; But Smitb he up and said of him who? thought the subject comical, ,? i ?, ;:j That Hature, when she gave htm sense,3jad been too economical. : f And Brown, repponding briefiy, wir-hetf io say in this connection , " 1 That c'mith in guarding repines Laden eye to self protection. - ' . '-; : Then Su;ith he flung a volume of thofjlessage and Reports, T f And Brown wa3 laid uixm the floor a cod deal out of soU. j-st-i-' i' Oi course versifies tion of th Congres sional Record would require tf a services of a poet laureate 'of rathef unusual powers. If Gongres- shall dfecept seri ously tlie suggcbtiuas -fthichl'we make with an earnest desire to promote the public interest, we shall. vei.4iire to rec ommend the selection ' of the . Sweet Smger of Michigan as the first occupant of tho laureate's cfiiose. Oar Vovdhxcnt. FINDING IDE DEI'XIiS OX" XBE EE A. A Russian naval officer has jnveiited a very ingenious apparatus for ascertain ing the depth of the sea without the use ' of a cosily and heavy lino. Indeed, no line at all is used. The instruinent con sists of a piece of. lead a sipall wheel with a contrivance for: regisfering the number of revolutions, and a float. While the apparatus sinks th wheel re volves, and the registered revplution in dicates the depth. When the bottom is reached the lead becomes detached, the float begins to act,; and. th machine shoots up to the surface, wlere it can easily be fished up by a net Bifid the reg ister read off. ; A stobt is told in lndiajf a parrot which had learned so many phrases tf English that it constructed grammar of the language, andj being fussed one day, was at last found i pcrhed on the top of a tamarind treenstruftting all the parrots of the neighboring jujogle in the rudiments of syntax' - Theret are people, disposed to disbelieve parrostories, yet some of them can be, positivly substan tiated. So. for instance, on of our re rpected citizens, wooing a widow, was interrupted at a critical moiaent in bis fervent address by aivoice frgm the. caga ill the window asking, inf sorrowing tones, "Wh kissed the cook?2fo Hour. We have often seeij a statue of Clay rnade of hronz-A : Strive for the against the worst. bst, nd provide THE BARBER, Outline Sketch of a Professional Career. The barber, children, is bf an extinct I species. The hair-dresser and tonsorial artist of the present day arc supposed, however, to be descendants of the har bor in direct line. '( I I The barber is a treacherous creature. He is never to be depended upon. 1 He has beeti known to cut his best friend's. He is remarkably sharp; in a business transaction, and will shave you if you give him a chance. In I fact, shaving may be said to be his business. The barber is a strapping fellow, and is ever ready to raise a row, I havo fre quently seen him take a man by the hose without the least provocation. j ? He always'wants his hone way, and is always ready for a brush, j I He has his shortcom(b)ings,tobe surie, and is apt to stir up your dander ; bht he has a very smooth tongue, and knows how to lay on the lather. ; 'A' He is generally honest in his judg ments, and sincere in i pooh-poohing shams and delusions ; but at the same time he is given to a great deal of sham pooing. I I can't say that he was ever charged with murder, but thousands - of people dye in his chop yearly. Mi Formerly the barber was a surgeon also, and used to be paid for. bleeding his customers. Nowadays he draws blood without extra charge. The barber sees a great many "af "ng scenes. There is a good deal parting going on every day in his shop. j i The barber -seldom uses nails when shingling, though he may use them when he comes to the scratch. The barber is a very secretivo fellow. You will find locks everywhere about bis place. ; ! . He has very little recreation. Curling is his chief amusement. He always stands well in his profes sion. You will generally find him at the head. j 1 He never makes game of his work, unless hair -dressing may be considered a rare bit of pleasantry. j j - The barber has to stand a great deal from his customers. He does not care, however, how much chefek they display in his establishment, and the more chin they give him the better he likes it. The barber's wife goes shopping, I just like other women, though she ought to be able to get hirsuit at her husband's establishment She probably prefers: to whisker round elsewhere.-' VI - Though the barber may have no chil dren to receive his inheritance, there are always many hairs apparent at his shop. j; I The barber's motto is: "Soap on, 6osp ever." H There are many more things I might tell you of the barber, but he is a great conversationalist and amply able -to speak for himself. Boston TranscHpt. DISAPPEARANCE OF TUE SCIIOOL 31 ASTER. It is the excessive amount of system in our wholesale methods of teaching that prevents the best results in any de partment. The pressure of quantify does not give the teacher time to mold character. Dr. Arnold himself could not have been Dr. Arnold if he had been required by a Board of Education to teach the greatest possible amount of arithmetic and geography within a given time. It is probable that Dr. Arnold j would have been considered wanting in i the requirements of an American school- I he would have found himself hopelessly . , ' i i irammeieu, as many an aspiring reacuer i i if j -i 11 ' nnas nimseii irammeiea,. Dyine expeuu- i tions of his employers. The' teacher.who would fain be less of a machine jwho would like to take time to do some thorough training, and to develop, the men and women of the future gets no opportunity. He must bring the largest possible crop of arithmetic and geogra phy at the end of the year; all his better work in building charjacter will count for nothing with the K'boaid." Then there are hobby-riders,) seeking to -drivo into the already over-crowded course some special study. The arts of design are often useful in a business way, there- fore drawing 'shall be j universally ex f came forward with his first experiment, acted of the pupils. Music is charming '; Taking up an egg, he explained its pro at home, therefore the vocal teacher ! portions of hme, albumen and sugar, must have place. In one considerable ! and broke itinto a tin dish. He then city, a wealthy merchant in the Board of Education, who found telegraphy vat- j uable in his own office,' has succeeded in ptitting every boy and j girl in the town to choking telegraph keys. j l But, no matter what is put into the course, it is rare that anything is taken nuts couldn't, grow in this country on out. The school-master finds no place account of the weather fooling around on which to stand. His individuality ! bo much. Milk wap added without corn is utterly repressed. He is a mefe-lcog- 1 ment, and the mixture well shaken and wheel in I a great machine. He sinks i poured out in a tumbler and handed to down at last to the level mediocrity j Brother Gardner. He gulped it all down which machines always produce; he be- j -with evident rehsri, and remarked that comes a hearer of lessons, a makfer of he should hereafter encourage chemistry registers, a worker i for examination j week. It is not chiefly bis fault that he does not : do higher work. There is hardly space for it, and there is no market, for it. Century Magazine,. Xxg more blissful to forgive jgsan t9 deceive. HISTORY OF GERRYMANDER, X2TO. . ! It is interesting to recall the history of "gerrymandering!." It began in Massachusetts, and this was the way of it : In, 1811, when party feeling ran high and voters in the State were very evenly divided, the Jlepublican-Demo-' crats for the first tine in a number of years elected the Governor and a ma jority of both branches of the General Court, and, to prcservb their power, they rearranged the Senatorial districts and I made them of irregular shape so as to give themselves a majority in as many as possible. Nothing; of the kind had ever been done before,- the move excited bitter opposition among the Federalists, and Eldridge Gerry, then Governor and or years a leading Democrat, came in for a great share of j the denunciation. One district was made of a line of towns on the westerly and : northerly side3 of TSssex county,' forming something like an irregular letter F. The Boston Sen tinel was the leading Federalist paper, and Busseil, its editor, to show plainly what was being done, took a map of the county, colored the towns on it includ ed in the peculiar district .and hung it up in his office. One day Gilbert Stuart hapxened to see it, and, saying that it resembled some, monstrous animal, tool a pencil, and, with a -few strokes, indi cated upon it head,1' wings and claws, bo that the new district looked like some kind of a strange dragon. "There." said he, " that will do for a salamander." " Salamander ! " exclaimed Busseil ; "call it 4 a Gerry-mander J "' And so the new proceeding found a name. This was in the spring of 1S12, and at the election of that year it appeared that the first gerrymandering was effectually done for; although the Federalists elect ed their Governor, they got but eleven out of the forty Senators, and this while they had a handsome majority for their State ticket and actually cstst 1,500 more votes for Senators than did their oppo nents who elected so large a majority of them. This result,! however, made great uproaf, and the gerrymandering was not allowed to stand. Springfield (Mass. Republican) 0' JOSII BILLINGS. ' U you will sit down and wait, yung man, at least one haff ov the good things ov life will at some time eddy around near yu, while the more yu chase them the more they will break into a run. All ov natur's wbrks are a pait ov a perf ekshun ov a plan. - She makes no mistakes, creates no vacancy, and guess es at nothing. Ideas are . what jwins ; but if a man hain't got but one he is very apt o run that one into the ground, and take him self along with it, Cunning iz a weak imitashun of wis dom, and iz liable ail enny time to mer . . . , I v into a iraud. Happiness has no often is very near at abiding place, but hand, like the old i woman's spectacles. After hunting for them hi and lo she found them at last safe on her nose. j Gravity iz bekuining to a fool at all times, but only to a jwize man on state ockashuns. 4- Verry menney seek knowledge, not so much for the truth az for the specula shim thur i in it. Heroizm iz simple, and yet it iz rare. Every one who duz he best they ken iz a hero. Buty iz a dangerous gift. The vanity it inspires, and the ba3e flattery it at tracks its possessors, are not to be en vied. Charity makes no; mistakes that she ! eu cnar0ed with There rz great art: great art: in Knowing now to give without creating an obligashun. Az selfish and ill-bred az the mass ov mankind ace, I perfpr to. live with them rather than to go injto solitude and try to live with myself, j Gratitude is a word that vu 'will find in the dictionarys, but yu will not find much of it enuywhere else. GUIS 211 S TR Y. Some -time since! the director of the museum was granted leave to provide himself with apparatus and chemicals in order that he might make some experi ments for the benefit of the club. Being now called upon to report progress, he poured in a. gill of whisky, and explained that whisky was the juice of corn and was principally used to tone up the sys tem, prevent baldness, cure lockjaw and produce pleasant dreams. . He gratSd in a little nutmeg, and explained that the with all his might Lime-Kiln Club. There are two ways of being happy we may either diminish our wants or fino-mjit our means. The result ia the Mrre-. and it is for each man to decide or himself, and to do that wiiich may happen to Q the eagier. PLEASANTRIES, Tub Cyclops were an industrious race. They had a single eye to business. Whsx you wake up at night and hear the baby crying, look out for dangerJ for there's a rock ahead. " What is love?" asks an exchange. Love, my friend, is thinking that you and the girl can be an eternal picnio to' each other. Salem Sunbeam. A lkcturkb is telling " How t Heur." It is easily told. Somebody tells a friend of ours and tells, hka not to tell. That's the way we hear. . Says Wilde to Eat Field,' " My Vg are reaftd.- ' j - Says Kate Field to Wilde, . "So little-oor child I" u A man never realizes, remarks a com mercial traveler, how plentiful mustard is and how scarce are bread and meat, until he tackles a railway refreshment room sandwich. , - A " How do you like my bride ? Do you appro veof my choice?" B "Well I must confess that in one point at least she is far ahead of , you." A" What point do you mean ?" B " Good taste!"- When a friend asked a reformed in- ebriate the cause of his reformation, ha said: "As yoa are married you. will quite understand it when I say getting tipsy made me see my mcther-in-law" doable f" . . The story of the discovery of a new nammoth cave in Kentucky was a hoax. The story w&i started by a man who saw Gov. BlAburn's mouth when he was shooting profanity therefrom at an offending newspaper reporter, ' The following letter to a French statesman is printed iu Le Temps : "I bave the honor to give fair notice to the First Minister that if he refuses me the" , pension for which. I have applied I shall,.; henceforth vote as my conscience dic tates." A boy. who was recently taken to church for the first time had his atten- tion specially drawn to a man in the choir who was playing oh-a bass-viol. After leaving the church he inquired, "Papa, what was that thing the man kept - scratching on its back with a stick?". Lorn:, aged 3, saw his mother mak ing a flaxseed poultice-1 for his - croupy brother. Louie could not see any dif ference between flaxseed and oatmeaL . So afterward, when mamma lisked if baby wanted any supper, - Louie' ex claimed: "Oh mamma, he's got ids supper on a rag." Mart was very much interested in the frosty window panes, especially after being told that it was "the work of Jack Frost. When she awoke one morning to find the ground covered with the first snow she ever remembered to have seen, she cried: "Oh, grandma, see! Jack -Frost has laid right, down !" A little girl once took a letter from her mother to an old-lady friend. "Many thanks, my child," she said; "you may tell-your mother that you are a good child and a faithful little messenger. " " Thank you, ma'am ; and shall I tell her, too, that T. didn't ask you for ten cents, because mamma told me not to?" At a Sunday-school in A., the super intendent, desiring to impress on the email scholars . the " Trinity," asked : "" H w many wniera have you r Some answered one, others two. " Have yon not another father ? " asked . the super- . intendentr " Yes,'-' answered a 6inall boy of 6, "grandfather." The effept can be imagined. Thomas and James had' new suits of. clothing at the same time. Thomas kept his in the wardrobe, nice and clean; but James put his right on,- and wore ifr every day so it became shabby after a timo. Thomas' suit, on the contrary, w as as .good av ever when James was worn out. When the boys' father saw the condition of his sons' clothing he straightway bought a new and nobby suit for James; but, as Thomas' suit was as good' as ever, he got no new clothes. Both" boys have now .suits equally good, but the cut of Thomas is somewhat archaic. James says Thomas is an awful gay. Boston Transctir-t. THE OTHER. HORN. " Mister," began a small boy, as ha sutered a Woodward avenue grocery, "ma bought some mackerel here lasi night." "Yes." " " And, in making change, yon gave her" ; t "No, I didn't 1 .1 haven't . had a quarter with a hole in it for a month l " But ma say 3 you gave her a " " Don't believe it don't believe it I I remember, now, I gave her a half dollar, a quarter and a nickel." " Ma says you gave her a gold piece for a pcn6y, and here it is.".. - . Good gr acious alive I but so I did 60 1 did 1 i I remember now that I gave her a dollar bill and a lot of small change. Bub, , what's your naie, and, do you think you can at three sticks of . lemon candy ? Ah I it aoea me guou w ' nd honesty and rewar4 it t" JktrQif frit rrw . 4 1 t 4 :v.i . i.- S . -.- .:- f. 1
The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
July 21, 1882, edition 1
1
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75